Numb
by SilverLastsForever2
Summary: Dramione. "You're just scared. You don't know how to deal with it. I was wrong; you don't belong in Hufflepuff, Hufflepuffs are at least truthful," Blaise walked away. Leaving Draco standing silently in the empty corridor.
1. Chapter 1

SLF: Hi guys! So you all know by now that I had to make a new profile for dumb reasons. This is the only incomplete story I thought it might be fun to finish! But to do that, I either had to link the stories or repost this first chapter. As I HATED the unclear formatting of the currently posted version, I decided to go with a repost. Please don't report me as I own both stories :) Enjoy the angsty, Dramione goodness, friends!

* * *

"Hm?" Draco Malfoy barely shifted his gaze to his girlfriend, "Oh yeah. I agree."

Pansy didn't notice his inattention and smirked, "I knew you thought she was a bushy, annoying girl. Anyway then she went on to-"

Draco tuned her out again. Pansy was his girlfriend. His girlfriend of status. Merlin knows he wasn't with her for her personality, or looks certainly. He hated her incessant chattering and her incredible need for his entire attention. He felt nothing more than annoyance for her really. Love was never something he was in ample supply of. Draco didn't love anyone in fact. 'Father' was a fool who didn't have sufficient intelligence to perform simple duties and 'Mother' was a coward who couldn't face her own husband. He inherited both of those traits. He smirked ironically at the thought. I'm just a product of my parents, he continued playing with his quill, I have no traits of my own.

"Draco? Draco are you listening to me?" Pansy's irritated whine brought him to attention. She had obviously been trying to gain his attention for several seconds.

"Of course I am; you're still on about Granger." Pansy smiled in a way, Draco imagined, she thought was charming. Then, to his dismay, she continued her prattling. Draco sighed inwardly and continued his own thoughts.

He was numb. Numb to any emotion other than annoyance and self-preservation. But, being numb, he couldn't bring himself to care. Several months ago he would have cared. But several months ago he had all the world to lose. Now that he had lost that, there was nothing left to care about. He picked his reputation over the one thing he had ever truly loved; her. And now, now it was far too late to change that.

* * *

 _"You're such a little ferret Malfoy!" Hermione Granger sneered as she ripped her book from his hands, "Keep away from my stuff!"_

 _"As if I'd want to touch any of your filthy Mudblood possessions, Granger," Draco Malfoy retorted his eyes glinting maliciously._

 _To everyone else in the hallway, this was a typical fight and no one paid much notice. To Draco and Hermione this was all a game._

 _"What did you call me?" Tears were beginning to well in Hermione's eyes._

 _"You heard me," Draco smirked before walking around the corner. Hermione stood alone and angry in the hallway before rounding the same corner. She was thrust forcefully into the wall as a pair of lips encased her own._

 _"Tears hmm? A nice touch," a silky voice growled into her ear._

 _"Well," Hermione smirked against Draco's neck, "I was feeling a bit theatrical."_

* * *

Classes were mundane as usual. Draco slid through the day with barely a thought. He could easily pass all of his classes even if he paid no attention. He had a photographic memory. All he had to do to make good marks was glance through the book a couple times and he was fine. As he was walking in the hall he heard an all-too familiar laugh somewhere in front of him. He looked up and saw her. Hermione Granger was arm in arm with Ron Weasley. He felt that common pang in his chest; it never went away.

At first it was jealousy, hatred; at him for being with her and at her for moving on like he was nothing. Now it was a throb of regret, of envy for their ability to be happy. Draco shrugged it off and willed himself to look down. He avoided her out of habit. When it first happened it was because he was a coward; he couldn't face her accusations, her glares. Now he did it purely on reaction. He had always been aloof so no one really noticed his absent behavior, which Draco was thankful for. The last thing he needed was for a bunch of 'concerned friends' to snoop and pry into his mind.

"You're doing it again." Well, Draco glowered turning to face the voice, no one except this pain in the arse,

"Doing what exactly might I ask?"

Blaise Zabini cocked an eyebrow, "Pining."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Go away Zabini," Draco growled turning around.

Blaise calmly caught up to him, "I'm more intelligent than any of the slobbering morons you keep company with, Draco. I've known all along. There's no sense hiding it from me."

Draco stopped. He had always suspected Blaise but Blaise had never confirmed what he knew until now.

* * *

 _Hermione sat in between his legs in a window sill. They were safe in the corridor, no one visited there. Draco had his arms wrapped securely around his little witch, almost daring fate to take her away from him. She leaned back and the clean scent of her hair wafted into his nostrils._

 _"Draco?"_

 _"Hmm?" "I…I know we decided never to verbalize our attachment but…" Hermione paused hoping for reassurance. Draco knew instantly where she was going. Four months ago it would have scared him, now he was ready,_

 _"Shhh," Hermione looked down dejected, "I love you Hermione Granger."_

 _Hermione's head shot up in delight and she turned around and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. The force of the movement pushed the pair off of the window sill. As they landed with a thud they couldn't help but to burst into laughter. Unbeknownst to them, someone had been watching._

* * *

So what?" Draco sneered, "What are you going to do about it, hmm? Tell the school? Spread it around that Draco Malfoy lost his mind over a stupid Mudblood Gryffindor?"

Blaise merely raised an eyebrow, "You're being irrational."

"Am I? Blaise, I've stopped caring. I've stopped caring about everything," Draco turned around.

"Come off it you tosser," Blaise drolled.

Draco spun around, they had long been the only ones left in the hall, "What?"

"'I've stopped caring about everything.' You sound like a bleeding Hufflepuff," Blaise mocked rolling his eyes, "That's a load of shite and you know it."

Draco was beyond angry now, he pulled out his wand and pointed it directly at the haughty boy casually leaning against a wall,

"Zabini you better shut your mouth or I'll," he hesitated not exactly sure what he was threatening.

"Or you'll what?" Blaise scoffed, "If you really were this pathetic, numb little creature you claim to be, you'd stop looking at her. You'd stop staring at her when her back is turned. You'd stop sniveling in your sleep when your dreams are tormented by her. Yes I know about that Draco, I've heard you," He added as Draco began to protest, "Don't worry no one else has; I'm a much lighter sleeper than the rest of you."

Draco was silent. Then he slid down the wall and sat. Blaise was right; he always was. He understood people far better than anyone Draco had ever met.

* * *

 _"You're such a git Draco!" Hermione roared throwing a pillow at him. It was another fight about something stupid. Draco wasn't even sure what they were fighting about._

 _"Hey!" he shouted dodging the pillow, "What's your problem you madwoman?"_

 _"Oh no," Hermione glowered, "Don't pretend I'm being irrational. I saw you today with her." With her? Draco thought and then realized._

 _He started laughing, "Pansy? Are you being serious? We already talked about this."_

 _"YOU GIT!" Hermione threw yet another pillow, "Stop laughing at me! You held her hand today!"_

 _"I have to!"Draco sighed exasperatedly, "If I didn't that pig would come snoop around as to why I'm no longer quite as 'devoted' to her."_

 _"So you say!" Hermione pouted, albeit no longer throwing pillows, "I still don't like it."_

 _Draco scooped her up in his arms to her surprise, "You're so damn annoying, woman."_

 _Hermione opened her mouth to voice a retort but Draco interrupted her, "And you're sexy as hell when you're mad."_

 _He then ended the discussion by kissing her hard on the lips._

* * *

"So what if you're right?" Draco murmured, "So what if you're right? I fouled up. She's gone. I kicked her out. It's all over with."

Blaise's lips curled into a disgusted sneer and he began walking away, "You obviously didn't love her."

Draco shot up, fuming, "What the hell did you just say?"

Blaise paused and, without turning around, said, "You. Obviously. Didn't. Love. Her."

"I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. How dare you?"

Blaise spun around stalking towards Draco until he was inches from his face, "How dare I? How dare I? How fucking dare you? If you really loved her that much you wouldn't have given her up. Yeah, you screwed up. Who gives a rat's ass? If you actually loved her you'd be doing something about it."

Draco was speechless. He'd never seen Blaise anything but quietly disgusted; the open rage was new.

"You're just scared. You don't know how to deal with it. I was wrong; you don't belong in Hufflepuff, Hufflepuffs are at least truthful," Blaise walked away.

Leaving Draco standing silently in the empty corridor.

* * *

 _"Draco," Hermione whimpered as he kissed her neck._

 _"Mhmm?" Draco murmured distractedly. He had waited so long for this._

 _"I," Hermione stammered uncharacteristically, "I,"_

 _Draco ceased his ministrations and pulled back to look at her, "What's wrong?"_

 _Hermione averted her gaze and took a deep breath, "I don't know if I can do this."_

 _Inwardly, Draco screamed in frustration but he understood, "It's okay. We've talked about this."_

 _"I know, I just," Hermione looked at him, "I'm a little frightened."_

 _"Come off it," Draco grinned leaning his forehead on hers, "Where's this Gryffindor bravery you chaps are always going on about? I'll be very gentle with you."_

 _Hermione took another deep breath, but before she could speak Draco grabbed her hands, looked her in the eyes and said, "I Draco Malfoy deeply love you Hermione Granger. If you want to wait I will wait forever," She smiled, "But that would be awful so please don't make me do that."_

 _Hermione laughed. Grabbing the sides of his face she studied his eyes, "I'm ready. I want to share this with you."_

 _"Fantastic," Draco grinned and kissed her hard._

* * *

Blaise, once again, was entirely correct. Bloody annoying too. He really was just pissing and moaning when he could get her back. And he wanted her back so badly he couldn't stand it. Her happiness with Ron made his prospects seem grim but he would try. He would try goddamnit.


	2. Chapter 2

SLF: Hello, hello! Five years later, the much anticipated (for maybe two people) second chapter! I've been feeling so much creative energy lately. So hopefully I can keep this up! If only for me. I've got some ideas for stories to come but I'd like to round this one out. It would be quite an accomplishment. Enjoy! This is a littel short but I wanted the cliffhanger. We will see where it goes!

P.S. It cracks me up when so many people follow the story but don't review xD Tell me what you like/don't like goofballs! You crazy kids.

* * *

Draco ran a hand through his golden hair as he looked in the mirror.

He looked like shit.

His eyes were rimmed by dark, puffy circles. His hair was disheveled and somehow looked dull in the light. He skin was sallow and sunken. Merlin, he was a wreck. How could he get her back looking run over by a stampede of Hippogriffs. He winced. That whole Hippogriff situation was not going to help him get her back. He wasn't really good with animals. They never seemed to like him much. And they smelled.

She loved animals though. He thought back to that nasty cat of hers, Crookshanks. Dealing with that mongrel was always a challenge. He was matted and filthy and never seemed to like him much, but Hermione adored him. So he could put up with it. He could put up with anything to get back into her life. Anything at all.

He splashed the cold water on his face.

Today was a new day.

Making his way into the Slytherin common room his cloak swishing darkly behind him, he had no time for anyone. He was twitchy, uneven.

"Hello, sexy," He felt arms wrap around him as Pansy purred in his ear.

"Get off," he snarled, pushing her hands off of him.

Pansy was in shock for a few seconds before simpering,

"Whatever do you mean, love cake?"

"I mean, we're over." Draco didn't bother to look at her and continued his gait.

Simpering turned to anger. Pansy's hand shot out to grab his wrist, jarring him to a halt,

"Excuse me?" she hissed.

He turned to give her a stare so cold her blood curdled in her veins,

"I said we're. Over."

"You can't do that to me!" Pansy shrieked, drawing the attention of the entire room. Draco didn't care. He simply continued on his swift and focused exit route.

As he stomped through the hallways he thought about his reputation. It's not as though Pansy were popular. She just happened to come from one of the most respected pureblood families and therefore had illusion of stature. She wasn't particularly beautiful or gifted or smart. She was simply wealthy and of the correct given name. What of that to recommend her to him?

He was obsessed with having the "right" reputation. He cared too deeply, too intensely what his peers and his betters thought about him. He was pressured from all sides to be this golden child. To prove he was every bit the perfect pureblood prince.

Well fuck that.

He was over the pressure. It was making him miserable. He didn't care about his reputation or his social standing anymore. He just wanted to be happy. He'd never be happy without her. This he knew. So to hell with anyone who didn't like it.

He slammed open the doors to the Great Hall. No one even looked at his direction but he picked her out of the crowd immediately.

There she was. With him. His throat tightened to see them together. It happened more than he liked to admit. He seemed to run into them everywhere. They looked so happy. She looked happy. Was it selfish of him to want to bring this turmoil back into her life? Undoubtedly. He was being selfish. He smirked to himself. _Well_ , he thought, _that's never stopped me before._

He definitely didn't care about the ginger's happiness. Hers, though...He knew that if got her back he could make her the happiest witch in the entire world. If he got her back.

He slammed down onto the benches at the Slytherin house table and ate his breakfast in silence. He attracted a handful of odd looks but for the most part he escaped notice.

* * *

The day passed rather uneventfully. He had no classes with the Gryffindors on this autumn day and it made the day go by quickly. He wasn't focused on anything in his classes. By the end of the day, word has filtered around that he and Pansy had broken up. Pansy was spinning it as though she had dumped him and as such the rumors were numerous. He really didn't care. Who everyone thought ended the relationship made no difference to him. It's not like his pride was anything to care about at this juncture. Let the sniveling pureblood salvage her reputation.

He went to the library after dinner. He hadn't set foot in the damn place since their fight. Since they broke up. _Broke up_. it sounded so petty. So insignificant. He wished there was a better word. Had his heart ripped out is more like it. Everyone thinks he has an ice heart, a stone heart. He wished. He would give anything for his heart to be made of stone. Then he wouldn't be filled with this pain, this ache. This burning, fervent, need to ruin his life as he knew it to get back his little witch.

He hoped he would see her. He needed her to come here tonight. Hopefully alone. He didn't feel much like dealing with her red-haired boyfriend. He fiddled with his quill and bore a hole through the empty page.

"Why are you here?"

His head shot up. He'd know her voice out of a thousand.

He smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

SLF: Sorry for all the angsty-ness in the last chapter. It had to be done. But now we can start getting to the fun meaty part of the story. Enjoy feisty dialogue, friends! And review :) Another short one but I can't help it! Short and sweet is a little more my style. I like clipped works. I'll see you with the next chapter in less than a week, duckies!

P.S. To those concerned with the 'Ron's a dick' cliche, that is not my intention. I actually like Ron. I think he's a great character.

* * *

"Why are you here?"

She was beautiful. Draco's breath caught in his throat as he drank her in. Her hair radiantly frizzed out in a speckled halo, drinking in the light of the room. He wanted to confess on the spot all he had felt these past few months but he had to play it cool. He couldn't just give everything away, he couldn't take it if he scared her off. He swallowed and looked back down at his work.

"I'm studying."

He could feel her expressive sneer cut through the air without having to look back up,

"You and I both know you don't need to study."

He glanced up,

"Maybe I just wanted somewhere to be quiet for a while. You certainly aren't helping."

"Trying to escape from that loudmouthed girlfriend of yours?"

"That's easily done as we broke up this morning."

Hermione paused, reeling slightly,

"I thought she was the pick of your precious parents?"

He looked her right in the eyes,

"I'm done doing things for my parents."

"Well," Hermione stammered, caught off guard, "well that's good. I suppose."

"I've done many things I regret, Hermione," his tone was hushed and meaningful.

She looked lost for words before,

"Hermione!"

Draco had never cursed someone's very existence more than he was cursing Ron Weasley at this exact moment.

Hermione stood up abruptly and went around the bookshelf. She cut Ron off before he was able to see Draco.

 _She's protecting me_ , he mused, _That's a good sign_.

Ron stopped just short of Draco's being able to see him.

"'Mione, I thought we were going to our usual table?"

Draco scowled. 'Usual table.' They never had a usual table. Draco didn't often spend time with her in public places.

"Just browsing," Hermione smiled easily, "I'm done now, though. Let's go."

The two left hand in hand. But not before Hermione shot Draco a look he couldn't quite decipher.

* * *

Despite everything, Draco left the library with a wolfish grin. He had spoken to her. And she spoke back. That was the most progress he's had since they broke up. He felt almost drunk on the excitement. Of course, it was clear she was still angry with him. But there was something, a spark, her tone, something told him hope was not lost. And that was all he needed. Say what you will about him, but Draco Malfoy was a survivor. His instincts were spot on. It was his instincts that he was relying on now.

It didn't even matter that the ginger had cut him off. He had planted the seed. That was the goal of tonight anyway. Seeds need time to grow. And he would lovingly tend to said seed until the roots pushed Ron out of the picture.

He raised his wand and threw sparks in the air, scaring the pants off of the lone first year in the corridor.

* * *

"I've thought about what you said."

Blaise looked up from the book he was reading,

"And?"

"And I've decided to get her back. Go after her at least," Draco ran a hand through his hair, "I suppose I have to try."

Blaise nodded, slowly closing the book,

"Pansy's pissed."

Draco smirked,

"No surprise there. The pig can 'wee wee wee' all the way home."

"You're ready to let the world know you're in love with a muggleborn?"

Draco was silent.

Blaise scowled and opened up his book again.

"Yes," Draco surprised himself with the firmness of his tone, "Yes I am. I love her and blood has nothing to do with my decisions anymore."

"You might just deserve her yet, Draco."

Draco smirked before he processed what Blaise had said,

"OY! What'd you mean 'might'?"

"I mean," Blaise glanced his direction, "That you've been the weakest, dullest of asshats and she's a brave, strong-willed, firecracker of a woman. You need some serious manning up."

"Well, I've taken a good first step, haven't I?" Draco crossed his arms.

"In what? Dumping Pansy?" Blaise snorted, "That was a mercy killing, believe me."

"No!" Draco whined irritably, "In talking to her in the library."

Blaise was caught off guard,

"You've actually spoken to her?"

Draco nodded.

"Not bad for a single day. I must've given you one hell of a pep talk yesterday," Blaise smirked.

"That was a pep talk?" Draco kicked Blaise's chair, "I glad you aren't the Quidditch coach. We'd be too demoralized to get on our brooms."

"It worked, didn't it?"

"I suppose technically," Draco grinned, "But I like to think of it as coming from my own strength."

"What strength?" Blaise laughed, "You're the biggest slinky coward I know."

"If that is a ferret joke, it is not acceptable!"

"That wasn't a ferret joke, YOU'RE a ferret joke, dear."

"That's it!"

Blaise lept out of the chair just as Draco sent a curse flying his way. Hooting and hollering, the boys made quite a scene in the usually stuffy Slytherin common room. Letting off some much needed steam at the cost of his decorum was an easy trade for the pair.

In a dark corner, under the porthole, Pansy seethed with rage.


	4. Chapter 4

**SLF:** Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews and favorites and all that jazz. Work has been crazy hectic so I'm sorry this was a little slow getting out. I'm in three shows currently, rehearsing many hours for a fourth, I'm working on scripts for the writing team (my theatre produces original works), and I have, like, five press releases to write. All that AND a PhD paper to edit for my freelancing gig. Being a professional actress/writer is hard, guys! But, I like to use fanfiction to let off some steam so it was time to get back to this story of mine. Here you are and please review :)

* * *

Draco awoke in the morning feeling particularly cocky. Knowing that he had his best friend back on his side made things decidedly less excruciating.

He prepared for the day in his usual manner by dressing in crisp slacks and brushing out his fine blond hair. The girls always giggled that he brushed in 100 strokes but that was nonsense. His vanity had faded over the years.

He smirked. When you were as naturally attractive as he was, vanity was unnecessary.

It was good to be arrogant again. It gave him back his edge. The sniveling and whining was such a pathetic state of being and he was glad to have pulled himself out of it. Some of that had to do with Blaise's torments, but most had to do with her.

Yesterday she had given him that glimmer of hope and that was all he really needed to start his fire back up.

Despite the odds he was facing, he felt confident.

* * *

"Never," Draco smirked ruefully, "I'd never stoop so low as to get back with that incessantly obnoxious woman."

"But you dated for an awfully long time," Millicent Bulstrode batted her eyelashes in what Draco assumed she thought an attractive way, "Why would you put up with her?"

He shrugged it off nonchalantly,

"Her family, the name was really the only thing of interest about her."

Millicent giggled,

"Oh you're so right."

Word had apparently gotten round that he was back on the market. For the already arrogant boy, the attention he was now receiving from many of his female peers was quite an ego stroke-not that he really needed it today.

He was more than willing to entertain their flimsy attempts at gaining his attention at the moment, however. He could feel Pansy seething with rage at the other end of the table.

"Now, ladies," he smoothly interjected, "I must be on my way to class now."

The gaggle of women chorused a "No!"

"Now, now," Draco soothed, "Must be off. I'll catch up with you later."

As he exited the Great Hall, Draco purposefully strode past the end of the Gryffindor table where Hermione and the others were seated. He caught her eye briefly and couldn't resist a wink. When she scowled and looked away immediately he grinned. She turned the faintest shade of pink.

Draco cheered inside his head,

 _You still want me_.

* * *

Hermione looked down rapidly and dug violently into her bowl of cereal. What a bloody asshole! The nerve on him! First he uses her and breaks her heart into a million pieces. Now he's sneaking into the library and winking at her in public! Like that was going to make her jump back into his arms, or his bed. She had given him all of the chances he deserved. He had run out of those. What an absolute trashbag! She was busy cursing his name into her food when she caught wind of the conversation.

"There goes Malfoy," Harry commented.

"He's like a bloody peacock now that he's tossed off Pansy," Ron scowled.

"He's always been popular with the girls," Harry agreed, "The Slytherins are having a field day fighting over him."

"They must all be happy," Hermione snapped, "Slytherins love nothing more than to fight over something."

"Well, yeah, but Pansy's not going down that easy, is she?" Ron asked, "I mean, she's pretty sore now that everyone knows he dumped her and not the other way around."

"Why do you even care?" Hermione slapped her hand on the table.

Ron blinked,

"What's gotten into you, then?"

Hermione blushed,

"Nothing. I just don't feel like discussing that git's girlfriend drama this morning."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, "He's a playboy so it was bound to happen. He's looking for a new mark, I'm sure."

"Well I hope she deserves him," Hermione offered sarcastically.

"No doubt of that occurring," Ron laughed, "Only an idiot would put herself through that torture."

The remark stung. Ron had no way of knowing, of course, that Hermione had been one of those 'idiots'. But it still made her angry. And more sad than she liked to admit. She was in a foul mood already and the continued talk of the subject was less than improving her temper.

"Yes, Ron, blame the women for falling for him," Hermione stood up from the table, "That's a very mature reaction."

She stomped off without finishing her meal.

Ron blinked and looked at Harry, mouth agape,

"What'd I say?"

Harry shrugged,

"No clue, mate."

* * *

Draco still had plenty of time before class, of course. He simply wanted to walk by Hermione before she left. He knew she always left herself plenty of time to make it early so she could glance through her notes before class began.

His wink had induced a delicious reaction. He knew it had made her angry, that was good. He could work with her anger. She was fiery. He loved that about her. She wasn't a simpering, pathetic little, housewife of a woman. She was opinionated, smart, passionate, independent.

As he mused about her in the empty hallway, he heard footsteps.

He hid behind a corner, not really wanting to interact with anyone right now.

That was when Hermione huffed past him.

Instinctively, his arm shot out. He grabbed her wrist.

"Funny meeting you here, Granger," he smirked, "I knew you'd leave your boyfriend and come running after me."

Before he knew what happened, her fist came in contact with his face.


	5. Chapter 5

**SLF:** Hey guys! You are the most patient fans ever and I so appreciate you putting up with my update fails. Work is absolutely crazy right now. I'm a wreck. This story gives me so much trouble! It's like an obnoxious middle child who doesn't know what it wants but demands attention. I never know where a chapter is going when I start it. SO, hopefully the wait was worth it and you enjoy this update. Trust me when I say this story is truly alive. It tells me where it wants to go and I have utterly no plan.

* * *

"Ow! What the hell, Granger?" Draco reeled back with the force of her punch.

"You don't get to touch me anymore," Hermione hissed.

"So you get to touch me?"

"In retaliation," she turned her nose up, "Did you think you could surprise a girl like that and not get hit?"

"I'd forgotten exactly how hard you hit," he grinned ruefully.

"I haven't forgotten how much of an asshole you are," she snorted turning around to walk away.

"Wait."

Something in the suddenly desperate voice made her pause.

"What?" She sighed.

"You know I'm sorry, right?"

"No," Hermione replied curtly, "You've never said anything of the sort."

"Well I am."

"Okay."

Hermione walked away, leaving Draco more than a little dejected.

From in the shadows, Pansy's eyes gleamed maliciously.

* * *

Draco was perched in a high bay window looking out over the lake. He had cracked the window slightly so he could hear the sounds of the outdoors. This was one of his favorite spots. It was a rarely traveled corridor and the window was deep set enough for him to be able to sit comfortably for long periods of time. It was a thinking spot, a place for solitude.

"Pining over your mudblood?"

The snarky voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What are you on about now, cow?"

He turned to face Pansy. Her arms were crossed in defiant victory, as though she'd won some battle he was as of yet unaware.

"Oh you don't think I know?" Pansy closed the distance between them, "I saw you apologizing to that bushy, buck-toothed Granger girl."

"Oh did you?" Draco replied blandly.

"I wonder what it was that you were apologizing for?"

"Don't hurt yourself darling, thinking was never your strong suit," Draco smirked.

"You and that girl were having some sort of illicit affair, weren't you?"

"And if we were?" Draco hopped off of the sill, "What would that mean for you? That you were second place to a mudblood?"

Pansy turned bright red, seething with rage,

"I'm second place to no one."

"In that you are correct," Draco mused, "Because you're not even in the running."

"I'm going to tell everyone!" Pansy screeched.

"Please do," Draco laughed, "No one will believe you. She'll vehemently deny it and you, well, you'll look like you're making a pathetically desperate attempt to discredit my name after dumping you."

Realizing that he was correct, Pansy let out a shriek and stomped away.

 _I'll ruin you,_ Pansy thought viciously, _I'll ruin you forever_.

As she left, Draco sighed and looked one last time out the window.

"Well," he grinned to himself, "Let the games begin, I suppose."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked away.

* * *

Hermione was having trouble focusing-on anything. Her classes were mostly a blur, and now she had read the same paragraph three times without taking in a word of it!

"Ugh!" Hermione slammed the book shut. It was clear to her that she wasn't going to get anything done at this time.

It was times like these she wished her hobbies weren't all so academic. She needed something to distract her. Something that didn't involve reading, writing, and even much thought. Something she could put on autopilot and enjoy. Something asinine, like hula hooping!

She decided to go for a walk. It was a rather nice day and the sun would be a nice friend for the journey. You decided to throw her book in a bag to take with her in case her focus returned.

"Where are you off to?" Ginny entered the common room, "The library?"

"Having trouble focusing," Hermione smiled weakly, "Going to go for a walk."

Ginny furrowed her brow, lack of focus was a very uncommon occurrence for the girl,

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, of course," Hermione replied, "Just something in the air I suppose."

"Well," Ginny was unconvinced, "enjoy your walk!"

"I will," Hermione tried a genuine smile, "It's a lovely day."

"It is," Ginny agreed as Hermione exited.

She couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering Hermione, but decided to let it go. Hermione was a very smart witch, she could handle things on her own,

"I just can't believe him," Hermione muttered kicking a rock in her path. She was flabbergasted that Draco would pick now to finally stop being an asshat. She had let that part of her past go and she was happily settled into her relationship with Ron. It was just another classic example of how incredibly selfish he was.

First, he forces her to hide in secret. Then, he breaks her heart when people come to close to finding out. And now, once she's moved on to a new life, he decides he wants her back. The absolute nerve! It was ridiculous. She wasn't going to allow herself to fall back into his arms-no matter how much she might actually miss him.

* * *

" _Draco?"_

" _Hm?" Draco brushed the hair out of her eyes._

 _They were having one of their quiet moments; a rare escape where they didn't have to worry about being stealthy or quick. They could luxuriate in their safety at the moment._

" _Will I always have to be a secret?" Hermione pulled herself up to stare into his eyes. His icy, beautiful eyes._

 _Draco shifted uncomfortably,_

" _Why do you ask?"_

" _I love you. I want to be able to share that."_

" _Share it with me," he cooed, "Isn't that enough?"_

" _I just want a normal life," Hermione sighed falling back into his arms, "I want to be able to tell my friends, my family."_

" _Maybe one day, love," Draco sighed._

" _One day soon," Hermione replied firmly, "Soon, Draco."_

" _We'll see."_


	6. Chapter 6

**SLF:** No excuses this time. I'm just the worst. Adulting, man. Here you go!

* * *

Hermione found herself at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Staring into the dark abyss, even in daylight, there were howls and disturbing noises. Fitting, she thought. Forbidden was what got her into this situation in the first place. She chose a particularly flat spot on the grass and layered her cloak across it. She plopped down, facing the ominous line of trees. Something about it was soothing. The day was quite calm and sunny and she lay back looking up at the stars .

" _Stop it!" Hermione laughed as she ran around trying to escape from Draco's flailing arms._

" _Hold still!" He grunted fumbling after her._

 _They were on the very edge of the Forbidden Forest, on a side that was away from any far-wandering students. They were fairly certain no one would catch sight of them here. As such, they were relishing the feeling of freedom in the fresh air._

 _Hermione was easily eluding Draco so she decided to pause and give him time to catch up. She turned around-_

" _Ooof!"_

 _And was immediately slammed to the ground by a Draco whose less than athletic childhood hadn't quite given him the best of brakes._

" _Sorry, love," Draco looked down from on top of her._

" _You big oaf," Hermione laughed stroking her hair out of his face._

 _There was a pause._

 _He kissed her. A rushing sound-like water filling her ears-flushed all sound away._

 _She kissed him back._

Hermione sat up in consternation. She can't close her eyes without being inundated with memories-the good ones; the dangerous ones. The memories that give the illusion that everything was worth it. Constantly gnawing at her lately. She imagined this is how Eve must have felt about the devil in the garden of Eden.

"Stupid snake." She hissed as she lay back down.

* * *

Draco was likewise finding it difficult for him to focus on anything at that moment. It wasn't so much distraction as pure boredom. His progress with Hermione was good but it still wasn't quite quick enough for him. Plus now he had Pansy even more up his ass.

He wasn't really that worried that she knew his secret. It was so unlikely and shocking that, in the numbers game, he had way more followers. It would only cause a ripple in his social circles. The real question was what she was going to do once she realized that.

Pansy might be a sniveling follower but she was decidedly devious. He knew she would find some way to attempt to ruin him. It was on the horizon. But it wasn't the most pressing obstacle he had to face. That was a certain red-headed nuisance.

In the power vacuum that was created in Hermione's heart by his leaving, it had to have been absolute cake for Ron to waltz in and claim her affections. He was already too close to her before. He probably dried her tears with his lips, the bastard. Draco seethed. Harry Potter might be his hallmarked enemy but right now the ginger sidekick was the focus of his fury.

How to get him out of the picture? Draco was certain all he had needed to do was appear back in her life and she would forget all about Ron Weasley. This has turned out, however, to not be the case. He had forgotten to take into account the bond the two had shared prior to this relatively new relationship. They were friends first. That would make the ties between them stronger than if he had been the flash in the pan Draco had been blindly seeing thus far.

How does he detach her from Ron? He's certainly not above stealing another man's woman-especially when that woman belongs to him in the first place. It's just how to go about it that he's fuzzy on. He has to tread delicately-something he honestly detests-so as not to alienate Hermione in the process.

He decides to take a walk.

* * *

 _She's here,_ he stopped several yards away, stunned by his good luck.

There, lying in the grass was the woman he so desperately wanted to attain. Quietly he steeled his nerves and sat down beside her. Startled, she sat up.

"Can I not have a moment of peace?"

"Well, I know how much you love surprises," Draco replied smirking.

"You know very well I hate surprises," Hermione huffed. She starts to stand up; Draco catches her hand.

"Please," his voice is soft, pleading. He looks straight ahead, "Don't go just yet."

Despite her better instincts, Hermione relents and sits back down. Draco doesn't release her hand.

"I don't know what you expect of me," Hermione murmurs quietly.

"You do know."

"I can't just drop everything and be with you," she retorts angrily, "I moved on from you. Merlin, you are so selfish!"

"Yes," Draco smiles, "I'm incredibly selfish. And relentless."

"Well I'm glad you have a realistic sense of self. Maybe try not being such a an asshat."

"What? So I can be more similar to your new boyfriend?"

"If you want any chance at having me back."

"So you concede that I have a chance."

"The possibility of a chance," Hermione cut in sharply, "Pay attention."

"I am paying attention, more than I ever have."

Hermione looked over and found Draco staring, unblinkingly into her eyes. She felt her face flush and turned away.

"Well then you would know that I am very happy with Ron."

"Are you?" Draco continued his gaze and squeezed her hand still currently tucked into his.

Surprising both of them, Hermione kept holding his hand.

"Yeah, well," she paused, "He loves me."

"Do you love him?"

"I can."

"But do you?"

"How I feel right now is none of your business. You sold your stock in this company. You have no say."

Draco didn't understand her metaphor but the point hit home.

"Maybe not right now," he relented, "But soon your feelings will be my only business."

Hermione locked eyes with him once more. Then she lay back on her cloak staring at the sky. Draco did the same.

They never stopped holding hands.


End file.
